Life can be challenging at times and change and loss are integral parts of the experience.
But when hardship and difficulties come knocking at our door, we often don’t want to answer.
When you hear that foreboding knock on the door do you pretend that no one is home, secretly wishing the unwelcome visitor to leave?
Maybe you hide in your closet and then retreat into your own dark world. The blinds are drawn so that you can not be seen, but this also blocks out the light. Afraid to go outside and experience the world you create a false safety inside your home, which is really more like a prison. You are trapped inside, isolated and begin to numb.
Or perhaps because you fear a dark guest entering your home, you never really are home.
Instead you leave your home searching for safety and something to satisfy your cravings.
You spend all your resources being distracted and chasing after something to keep you occupied.
I have tried both of these methods – either hiding from pain, pretending it does not exist or running from pain and staying too busy to allow myself to feel. However none of these work in the long run, because ultimately life will catch up with us. We can try to run but we can not hide.
“Pain is inevitable, Suffering is Optional” – Buddhist Proverb
On the path to enlightenment the Buddha faced many trials and tribulations. One of his chief nemesis was Mara, the Demon God. Mara had tried in vain over the years to tempt the Buddha.
The night before he was to be enlightened, Mara visited the Buddha. Rather than running away or hiding saying he was too busy, the Buddha offered Mara a seat by him and then offered Mara tea.
In essence the Buddha welcomed his temptations and the challenges of life and was able to sit compassionately with them. Ultimately Mara surrendered at this realizing that the Buddha could not be tempted. Mara had no power over the Buddha.
The challenge is to open yourself up to the Devil, to Mara, the addictions, the feelings of loneliness, despair, whatever they may. Invite these feelings to sit with you for a while. Be compassionate with them as you notice them and yourself. By learning to be at peace with these feelings, allowing and accepting what is, “Mara’s” energy is diminished.
So the next time you are visited by Mara invite him in. Rather than resist, stay present and practice acceptance.
Be a good host and soon you will find your visitor will leave you free to go on your merry way.