Julian Kaufmann

EMPOWERING PEOPLE TO LIVE AND LOVE, FULLY

Better Living Through Better Questions

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Want better answers? Ask better questions

Asking to connect with your spiritual self

Part of our re-birth and awakening is to return to our true nature and to no longer be identified with the external world.

We come into the world innocent and then are influenced by our family of origin and other circumstances. As we grow and mature, we want to fit in, to belong, and we want to make sense of things. We internalize and adopt certain concepts and conventions about the world as we know it. We ask questions – whether internal or external and begin to construct the mental models that can become more rigid over time. But the only constant in life is change, and fixed-mindset can reinforce our ego and its limited perception of the world. Our neurons fire and wire together providing us with a simplified approximation of the way the world works along with a reinforcing notion that we need to be fixed or that we need something in order to be complete. And until we are liberated with the ultimate truth of reality (we are spiritual beings having a physical experience), our ego mind entraps us through judgments and labels.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a profound appreciation of our ego minds and what they do for us. After all, we can’t spend our days living in continual spiritual unity bliss (sitting for 40-days under a tree, for example, will likely cause you to be evicted from your apartment for not paying the rent). We have to take care of our needs, our family, and our tribe. But while the mind is a wonderful servant it is a terrible master. We can work with our mind, training it to help us arrive back in our spiritual truth.

Our mind needs a problem to solve, a way to channel its cognitive capabilities. One of the best ways to practice spiritual judo on your mind is to ask it some deeper questions and allow the answers to come to you.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.” – Albert Einstein

Ask and you shall receive

Of course we may never really be able to answer for ourselves the ultimate questions of why we are here and what is the meaning of life. Rather than getting stuck on pondering the ultimate question, I would recommend starting with some “easier” questions.

One of the reasons that meditation and contemplation is so helpful is that the monkey mind can calm down during these practices. We become less reactive and more reflective. As we move from living in our heads to living in our spiritual hearts our true gifts can unfold and be shared with the world. The Truth will set us free!

The bible instructs us that the kingdom of heaven is available to us and that all we have to do is knock and doors will open. If only it were this simple, right? We are told to ask for what we want and it will be given to us. So we do as we are told. We ask and more often than not our prayers go answered. If you are like me, maybe you felt that these unanswered prayers were a result of you not being worthy. Many of us will ask our higher power, God, Jesus, whatever name we give to grant us our wish, to give us the thing we are praying for. One problem might be our state of alignment with our higher power. Maybe we are not asking the right questions and praying the “right” prayers and as a result our desired manifestations are left out. Instead of asking for circumstances that are in resonance with the universal field of consciousness we may instead be focused on lower, more base desires and wants. Our Ego is doing the talking and the asking while the true essence of who we are may lie dormant or crowded out by all the material concerns that impact us.

We might evolve from a sense of separateness from the Divine Source and instead recognize that we are one and are in fact God manifest through us as us. After all we are the ocean in the wave to paraphrase Alan Watts. From this awareness of our higher-selves, we may invoke New Thought principles and use affirmative prayer. This type of positive prayer has you declare a desired outcome, rather than asking for it, and like magic you materialize the manifestation you have held. The thoughts you have held in your mind have produced their own kind. For example, you affirm, “I attract loving , supporting people into my life”, and like magic you meet your new best friend or at long-last your desire for a romantic partner is fulfilled.

The problem with both the beseeching and affirmative prayer is that our mind and hence our perspective may have us asking for the wrong things or affirming things that are not in alignment with our higher selves. Also we may be unduly influenced by our body and its instinctive drives and desires. If our bodies are off, we may be focused on alleviating symptoms of disease and not able to comprehend the nature of the actual cause. We may be fearful and focus our prayers and affirmations on lower order manifestations, forgoing the more fulfilling possibilities that are available to us. Like Socrates instructed an unexamined life is not worth living and that we should know ourselves. This is where meditation has been very helpful for me as it cultivates an awareness into my thoughts, my fears and my desires. Again prayer is talking to God while meditation is listening.

By reflecting on our lives we can discover who we are. We can make sense of our true essence and live more authentically and with more presence. There are several profound questions that help guide you towards a true recognition of who you are.

Who am I and who is having this experience?

This is a deceptively simple question with profound results if you practice it and listen for the answers. For example, suppose you are married and your first answer to the question may be that you are a husband. Ok but who is having the experience of being a husband? After all, you may not remain married, maybe you get divorced. Regardless of the dissolution of the marriage, you or rather the awareness of you remains. Keep asking who you are until you reach the ineffable unity realization. There is something deeper to us than the labels we give to describe the material world around us. If you are identified with external labels and constructs, please send time peeling back the onion to discover who you really are. As you do this exercise, be gentle with your self. It was helpful to view myself literally as a child of God. As a parent, I tried to offer my children patience and unconditional love. When they would ask questions about the world I would do my best to answer and to encourage them to learn and experience the world for themselves. A loving God would do the same for you too! Ask who you are and eventually you receive the ultimate answer – that we are all one and part of the universe.

What makes you come alive?

Howard Thurman said “Ask what makes you come alive and go do it, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” We are naturally inquisitive and have instincts that propel us to explore our world and try new things. By centering ourselves through introspection and awareness we will feel small urges that will nudge us towards those things that make us feel alive. Perhaps like me, you will get an urge to write a book. Maybe you will want to play the guitar or take up acting. You may feel compelled to get involved with local outreach groups that are serving your community. You feel the calling to explore to produce to create. Whatever the urges, you allow the spark to develop into a flame of initiative and then you do the next step and take action towards your dream. You go do it. You begin to manifest the dream. And once you start taking steps towards your dream, as Paulo Coelho says “the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” You know you are on to something when you lose track of time and you lose your sense of self. You flow with the activity. You and your work become one.

If money were no object what would you do?

As we get fixated on achieving external goals we may become disconnected from our natural inclinations and latent talents. Ask what would you do if you did not need to make money and follow the answers. At first you may fantasize about winning the lottery and living a decadent, lavish life. Go ahead and indulge that scenario for a while. No matter what you buy, there will always be something newer and better to take its place. The hedonic treadmill offers the siren call of pleasure but in the end only prolongs suffering. Ask yourself the question and allow the answer to come to you. Follow the lead, follow your bliss.

What would Jesus do?

Some Christians take this question to be an organizing principle for how they should live their life. Whenever they are confronted by a vexing circumstance or choice, the answer to “What would Jesus do?”, provides guidance and direction to their life. By having the Messiah as their mentor, they are led by their own Christ conscience in their action and deed. Acting as if – in this case acting as if Christ – aligns a person with their higher self. Jesus’s two commandments were: 1) to love your God and 2) to love your neighbor as your self. Being mindful of these instructions will further align you with the Divine as you consider your next action.

Other way showers in the major world religions can provide spiritual counsel to help you navigate life on this mortal plane. Get help wherever and from whomever you need.

Being present, being in the here and now fully, is the cornerstone of optimal experience. I have been studying and practicing ways to encourage more presence in my life – body, mind, and spirit. My next book The Power of Presence – How To Amp-Up Your Life provides a how-to-guide on showing up at your best. If you would like to be part of the Prime Mover Team and get early, free access to the book and related resources before it is released, please sign up here.

Julian Kaufmann is an energy expert, entrepreneur, and author. Julian helps people get more out of life by applying science and universal spiritual truths to get more done by using less energy. Julian is here to help turn you on, more brightly, and help you share your light with the world.

Finding Light In The Dark Night

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It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn

You know what I am talking about if you have been through it. It’s a time when your world is upside down, you feel isolated, and nothing seems right. You are alone with your thoughts and can’t sleep. It’s the middle of the night.

There is a name for these periods of somber, dark reflection. A time when your life is shaken at its core –your beliefs, ideals, family, job, health, any and all of the things that give your life meaning are in doubt. You doubt God, your higher power, or perhaps you conclude there can’t be one anyway. You ponder life and the apparent emptiness of it all. The name of this is the Dark Night of The Soul.

Darkness can be described as the absence of light. During the Dark Night, there is rarely any light. The light of love and God’s grace is not readily seen or felt.

They say that absence can make the heart grow fonder, but during the dark night, your heartbreaking is what you encounter.

And the dark night is not just an isolated event, at least it was not for me. Many sleepless nights led to many angst-filled days. Days and nights blurred into a simmering purgatory of being wired and tired. Exhausted by day and unable to sleep at night. The cycle continued until I was able to break through and find the light again.

You can break through too, and I want to help you by providing you with help to get you through those nights and hopefully stay clear of them all together.

A sound body, mind, and spirit can help you thrive in whatever conditions life’s seasons offer at you. My upcoming book  The Power Of Presence – How To Amp-Up Your Life will provide you with all the tips and techniques I learned or have researched to give you the best tools to live your optimal life. Please, sign-up if you would like to help support me in this latest effort. Thank you and Namaste!

“It is precisely because we resist the darkness in ourselves that we miss the depths of the loveliness, beauty, brilliance, creativity, and joy that lie at our core.” ― Thomas Moore, Dark Nights of the Soul: A Guide to Finding Your Way Through Life’s Ordeals

The following is an excerpt from the book, a snapshot of the diary of my dark night that occurred in 2008:

3:30 AM: I wake up with my chest pounding, gasping for air. I feel like I am simultaneously drowning and someone or something is sitting on my chest. I am cold and sweating at the same time. I bolt up on to a sitting position on my bed. Disoriented I look around the darkened room and do not know where I am. What happened last night, what hotel am I staying – where am I? Then it all comes back to me. I am at home or at least the house where my family and I lived.

My eyes focused on the clock as the red numbers came into view. Three Fucking Thirty! A mere 4-hours ago I went to sleep and was desperately hoping not to have another repeat performance to what I had previously gone through the day before. Morning would not be here for another few hours, and then I had a full day of work waiting for me. I looked over at my empty bed and turned on the light.

If there is one thing I could not stand then it was lying in bed tossing and turning. I had made myself a promise to give up on that nighttime rumination and instead do something. But what can you do at 3:30 in the morning? With nothing else to do, I turned on the TV, staring blankly at the screen, mindlessly flicking through channels. The room glowing a pale blue as the rest of the world waited for dawn.

When the true dawn came, I had already had four cups of coffee. Black as oil is how I like to drink it. And I falsely assumed that if you are more tired, then all you need to do is drink more coffee! I try to go for a run thinking that the exercise will make me feel better. I feel so edgy and am desperate to rid myself of this feeling of needing to do something but not knowing what to do. My run does not go well. Over the past months, my time per mile has been slipping. I think well maybe tomorrow I’ll do better. I just need to try harder! My inner critic’s voice is louder now in the quite of the morning making my headache even worse.

9:00 AM: After cleaning up, I head to my office. The mood there is somber at best. The company where I work is in the process of winding down. For the past 6 months we have entertained a parade of potential buyers, but unfortunately, there are no takers. The end is near, and my colleagues and I know it. We try to make the most of our situation even though we are all condemned to look for work elsewhere. The company we built is going out of business. At this point in my career, I had been employed continuously for over 20-years. I did not want this streak to come to an end and felt like I needed money more than ever.

The primal response of fear and the worry over the potential loss of income begin to make their presence known to me. My marriage dissolving and after surviving the near death of my daughter make me feel like a bomb has gone off in my home. Nothing is the same for me – there seems to be no safety and no comfort. I imagine that this is what leads to PTSD’s.

Meanwhile, I continue drinking coffee all day. My body temperature is off, and I am enjoying the warmth from the java. Still, I am cold, chilled to the bones, and there is a general ache in my body. My brain is foggy, yet I know I am not thinking right. Still, I am powerless to stop or change it. I am chronically distracted. At work, I think about my home life and my family, while fantasizing of restorative sleep. At home I think about my work, unable to sleep imagining nightmares of financial ruin.
Meanwhile, I am incredibly hungry, craving sweets like donuts and candy. I eat another breakfast – my 2nd of the day, a fried chicken biscuit. Over lunch, we all go out, and we eat burgers and fries. I drink 3-4 glasses of iced tea (unsweetened at least). I am ravenously hungry, but there is nothing that can satisfy me. After lunch, the day proceeds with all of us either looking for potential new employment or distracting ourselves in whatever news events are there. Around 5:30 it is time to head over to the bar. Once there we have two or three beers. We are like the characters from the movie the Green Mile – dead men walking.

Around 9:00 pm I return home after picking up some take-out. The place is empty. I am alone – empty in my house. I am depleted physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. My marriage is over. My job is over. Who am I now and who will I be when the divorce and the company winding down are complete?

Tonight I say I will get some sleep. So I go to bed and as soon as I lie down, all of the thoughts come racing through my head. What will I do when I am divorced? How are our children going to deal with this? How can I support my family? Why is this happening to me? Why does God forsake me? After 20-30 minutes of tossing and turning in my bed, I head downstairs and pour myself a glass of red wine. The wine tastes good, and it helps me relax. I lie down on the couch and watch TV, with the LCD screen illuminating the room. There is not much on, so I watch the news, CNBC or MSNBC. It is 2009, the US economy is in shambles. The Great Recession has hit, wiping out families. In this market, I must find new work while having to provide for my family.

Damn. When will this mess end? I head upstairs to my bed and slide under the covers. I remember what I had learned from my daughter’s caregivers saying that when you feel overwhelmed just repeat to let go, let God. I learned this expression to help me deal with my daughter’s illness. Do your best and release the rest, release to God.

During my daughter’s health crisis I turned to God for comfort and found it. I was grateful and vowed to be a better man. Like is common among desperate men, I pray to God. I say “Dear Father, I am sorry for all that I have done. Please take care of my family. Help me get through this and be the best father I can be. Help me, please!” I am begging, for mercy, for grace, for relief. I set my alarm for 7:30 am, remembering what I had read about needing to sleep when you are stressed. A miracle occurs, and I fall asleep hard, akin to passing out. As I am in some lucid type state – I can hear and feel myself snoring. I am too tired to move. I finally succumb to sleep!

When I wake next, the panic is there. Maybe I slept for 90-minutes? Fresh from a brief respite it is like my anxieties have come back stronger than before. Thoughts of ruin race through my head. I know these thoughts are only projections, but they seem so real. I begin to have anxious reactions to thoughts about anxious thoughts and so on.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

Hard to believe but that was the state of my days and nights during my dark night of the soul period. The once hard-charging, go-getter, type-A competitive Ego-man, was running out of energy and my nervous system was fraying at the edges. Like the frog in the pot of boiling water that can be boiled alive if the temperature change is gradual enough, I had found myself drowning in my own stress hormones as I tried to contend with so many stressful things. My marriage, my children, my finances, my job and now my health. I felt like I was falling apart and my world was disintegrating before me.

To move on I had to re-integrate my present state. My mind and body were spiraling out of control.

To survive, I could not dwell on the past or fret about the future. The shit I was dealing with was real and immediate.

Somehow I eventually came back to my body from the swirling vortex of my mind to the place and time in which I lay. I was here.

Meanwhile, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, and I could see the panting ripples of my chest. I could hear the hum of the fan and feel its cold air moving over my body.

My focus intensified until all could contend with was just a breath. One inhale, followed by one exhale. Repeated.

The words echoed Let Go, …Let Go. I would inhale on Let… and then exhale on Go. Let -Go, Let- Go, Let -Go….

I felt as though each breath could be my last when by grace I fell asleep fast.

Peace was found. I surrendered to the now and let things be.

I had stumbled on the way to know the now.

If you want to know how you can know the now and amp-up your life, please sign-up here to be a prime supporter of The Power Of Presence. By doing so you will receive exclusive content and my deepest gratitude. Thank you!

How To Find Comfort While Living In The Chrysalis Of Change

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Emerging Beauty

Life Is Constantly Evolving and Progressing

Sometimes the changes we experience in life are gradual and almost imperceptible. For example, we may not notice our own aging until we compare photographs taken over several years. Through this perspective of contrast, we can easily note the passing of time and the attendant changes in the subtle transformation that typifies the cyclic nature of life.

Other times, life can seem incredibly destructive, resulting in dramatic transformations. Some type of cataclysmic event occurs and afterward our life is fundamentally altered. A loved one dies, we lose a job, we get divorced. These events are discontinuities and are very disruptive.

The third way of life change we experience is somewhere in the middle between the gradual and destructive. During this type of evolution, we recognize that we are in the midst of something but most of our life seems to be the same,  at least outwardly. We notice that something is different and we may have a vague notion that it is the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. Inwardly we have the awareness of forces affecting us and we feel that we are isolated from the life we know. Something is happening to us and it is of singular impact. It can seem lonely and frightening while being ensconced in this cocoon of change.

Freeing Too Soon

Once upon a time, a small child came upon a butterfly in its cocoon. The child had recently learned about the caterpillar’s life transition into a butterfly and felt sorry for the little creature trapped in the silky chamber. The child with the best intentions decided to free the butterfly from its cocoon. Unfortunately, the now free butterfly was not able to fly as it had not had the time necessary to develop its wing thanks in part to the resistance of the very cocoon the small child had removed it from. The child’s intervention did not allow the full transformation of the butterfly to occur.

If you or a loved one is in the change cocoon, love them while leaving them to undergo their transformations. Have compassion for the situation and trust that the divine forces at work will bring about changes that ultimately reveal the highest form – the highest good. Given time and the right environment, eventually, you, now transformed like the beautiful butterfly, will emerge. In your time, you will spread your wings.  While you are in your chamber remember that the world needs this new version of you. And in time we all will be grateful for the metamorphosis.

Present For The Change

It takes courage to undergo and witness life’s transformative changes. Whether it is you or your loved one, we all at some point will spend some time in the change cocoon. In order to facilitate change, we should strive to be fully present for our selves and our loved ones. Being present, being in the here and now fully, is the cornerstone of optimal experience. I have been studying and practicing ways to encourage more presence in my life – body, mind, and spirit. My next book The Power of Presence –  How To Amp-Up Your Life provides a how-to-guide on showing up at your best. If you would like to be part of the Prime Mover Team and get early, free access to the book and related resources before it is released, please sign up here.

Julian Kaufmann is an energy expert, entrepreneur, and author. Julian helps people get more out of life by applying science and universal spiritual truths to get more done by using less energy.  Julian is here to help turn you on, more brightly, and help you share your light with the world.

Join the next energy revolution by becoming a Prime Mover, Julian’s community of people wanting to do more with less.

Tuning In To The Hum Of The Earth

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Tune In – Turn On

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration.”  – Tesla

The earth is a cosmic orb in flux.  Consider how we are hurdling through space at a speed of about 67,000 miles per hour.  Yet for most of us, our physical world seems fairly stable.  We are blissfully unaware and in fact, there is much that happens to our world that we can not perceive.

Recently scientists have made breakthroughs about the mysterious “humming” that the earth makes.  Ultra-low-frequency waves are occurring that we can not hear and are a result of the ocean waves and other factors.

As I was reading the Washington Post article on the Earth’s hum,  I became aware of the humming ballast in the overhead fluorescent light at the coffee shop.  This made me think of the hum that you can hear if you are near most utility transformers as the flowing electrical current is stepped-up or down.

From here my brain went to the humming sound you make when you chant.

All these examples, and for life itself, have something in common and can be explained by energy and frequency.

Which brings me to the last point and that is the frequency of our brain waves.

During most of our day, we are on high-alert and operate in a brainwave state characterized by high-frequency brain waves.

Contrast this with the state of peace and calm we feel when we meditate and are generally relaxed. As we meditate we lower our brain’s energy requirements by lowering our brainwave state. The higher the frequency the higher the energy requirements.  Check out my blog post WHAT’S THE FREQUENCY KENNETH for more information.

Thinking About Your Brainwaves

The table below lists the typical brainwave frequencies associated with the various states:

Brain Wave State Frequency (HZ) Notes
Beta 14-30 Awake, normal alert to anxious
Alpha 9-13 Relaxed, calm, lucid, not thinking (Flow)
Theta 4-8 Deep relaxation/ meditation, Mental Imagery
Delta 1-3 Deep, Dreamless Sleep

If you would like to enhance your meditation practice, please sign up here for a FREE 100-Day program that starts on January 1.

Namaste

 

Pain and Gain

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Like a broken tooth, an illness or a divorce, sometimes life has a way of helping you bring your awareness to the present moment.

Pain is the body’s way of letting you know that something needs your attention. When you are hurting your focus is directed to the affected area. Something happens to us that wakes us up and draws our awareness to whatever may be ailing us. We are jolted us up and out of the stupor we may have fallen in to.

It is not necessary however to experience painful disruptive events as the only way to bring your attention to the present moment.

Eckert Tolle encourages us to actively increase our awareness and consciousness in the good times and not just the bad. “So it is essential to bring more consciousness into your life in ordinary situations when everything is going relatively smoothly. In this way, you grow in presence power. It generates an energy field in you and around you of a high vibrational frequency. No unconsciousness, no negativity, no discord or violence can enter that field and survive, just as darkness cannot survive in the presence of light.”

A regular habit of prayer and meditation can help slow the brain down to bring awareness into the present moment.  If we live in the present we allow life and all it’s changes to occur while we remain in equanimity.  Acknowledging the hurt, the grief, the anger, …, THE FEELINGS, and allowing them to flow through your body, reduces their energy.

Mindfulness practices have been shown to have dramatically healthful benefits to those who practice this.

Keeping an open heart while going through painful events can be difficult.

But if we are to grow and learn through these challenging times, it is exactly what we must do.